Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Kids Say the Funniest Things

- I wore a my hair in a bun to school. I knew I was going to get questions and comments but I didn't know how many questions and comments. "Miss. S, why is your hair like that?" "It's in a bun because..." "Do you need a hotdog to go with that bun?"

- I have been sick and the kids knew that. A girl motioned me to come closer so I bent down thinking she was going to whisper to me. She cups her hand over her mouth and starts yelling into my ear. 

- During snack time one of our students was looking sad so I walked over to him and before I could say anything he said, "Miss. S, I don't think it's very funny when kids laugh at me during lunch." "That isn't funny. Who laughs at you? Anyone from our class?" "J and L from Mrs. R's class." "Why?" "My mom writes love notes to me in my lunch box and they think it's funny." "Oh, that's not nice. My mom used to write me special notes and put them in my lunchbox. Now, I write my mom special notes and put them in her lunch box." He had the biggest smile on his face after I said that.

-  "I love you, Miss. Schweiter!"

- "Are you teaching a math lesson today?" "No, Mrs. R is." "Oh man, I want you to teach us!"  

- "Who made you?" "Huh?" "Who made you?" "What do you mean?" "You know, like you were once in your mommy's tummy, but how did you get there?" "You need to talk to your mom and dad." "How did you get here?!"

- "Miss. S, what does envious mean?""You would feel envious if your friend moved to a house with a pool." "I have a house with a pool." "Okay, I am envious of you because my house does not have a pool." "Oh, jealous!"

- "Miss. S, I don't mean to tattle but..."

- "What are your super hero powers?" "Flaming ear wax and flaming snot!"  

- Two boys were spitting as they waited to go out to recess. I went over to talk to them and one boy turned his head threw his wrist to the side and said, "Oh, you know boys!"  

- Ms. S, you look beautiful! Do you have a date after school today? #iwish

- "Do you have kids?" "No." "Oh, that's okay. Some people are not meant to have kids."

- "How old are you?" "24." "You're still in college when you're 24?" 

- Drops her Chocolates on the floor and yells, "Why, God, Why?"

- Girl I babysit (7): "I wish I was an only child. I don't understand how some families only get one kid but we have three." 

- Grace (16 months) greeted me at the door and said, "Missed you!"

- Conversation with the 16 month old I nanny: "You're the best girl." "Ever."

- Liz (to Baby E): Do you want some food too?
Grace: If you want food you need to say please Baby Eloise. (I walk over with a jar of Carrots.) Say thank you Baby Eloise.

- Grace was reading books. She started to get up suddenly and said, "My back is sore." She's hanging out with too many old folks.

- Grace spilled her milk. I was cleaning it up when she said, "I bet the ants would love some milk!" There were ants under her chair not even 5 minutes prior that we picked up and put outside. :-)

- This was totally out of the blue but during dinner Grace said, "I need some camera phones." 

- "Do you see that pile of birds up in the sky?"

- Me: "Gentle hands or you will take a break." 
  Grace: "I wanna take a break!" 

- Grace (2 years old): "Hey! Stop talking to each other and talk to me instead!" 

- G: "Are those kids bullies?" 
  Me: "Yes!" 
  G: "Should we go attack them?"  

- Stranger to Grace (17 months): "What's your babies name?"
  Grace: "Jesus." 

- Within the first 3 minutes of the first day of school one of my 2nd graders asked, "Do people who kill themselves go to Heaven?" "You have to talk to your family about that, everyone believes something different." "Okay, well, murders go to Heaven."

- Within the first 15 minutes of the first day of school I was asked, "How do babies get here?" "That a good question to ask the people you live with." "My mom won't tell me. She won't tell my brother who is 13 either. Please."

- Grace (24 months) saw a birds nest and asked, "Is it made from man's hair?" 

- Tons of flooding in our area like to the extent that roads and walking trails are closed and you cannot be on the lakes or rivers. Grace and I went for a walk when she exclaimed, "Look Liz the trees are taking a bath in the water!" 

- I cheered for Grace (2.5): Good job good job. Good job good job. G-O-O-D-J-O-B good job good job!" Grace loved the cheer but instead of asking me to do it again she yelled, "Good job L-M-N-O-P good job good job!" 

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